Looking for the johns at John’s? You'll need a tractor

Men's room door at John's

Doc’s report:

In the mockumentary movie on folk music, “A Mighty Wind,” the fictitious Folksmen trio sing a song titled “Old Joe’s Place.” It offers many of the comforting clichés we’d like to remember in our favorite diner:

Now they don't allow no frown inside
Leave them by the door.
There's apple brandy by the keg
And sawdust on the floor.

An even less pretentious name than Old Joe’s Place is John’s Bar, our mid-year destination.

The backroads drive from the South End (heading down Trumbull to Bullock, keep going southeast) sets the tone of authenticity, passing roads named Fred and Jones. The sugar beets, corn and beans all seem to be doing fine.

The women's room

When you enter John’s from the Munger Road side, the face of the second step reads “Thank” and the third says “You.” Most places thank you after you’ve paid up and are leaving. John’s thanks you just for coming in.

The décor is pristine retro ‘50s kitchen, with vinyl and linoleum chairs, tables and booths. The restroom doors have clever tractor logos -- John Deere for men, Allis-Chalmers for women.

But two wall displays intrigued me.

First, behind our booth was a jigsaw puzzle of vintage baseball cards. To a fan like me who played Little League in the ‘50s and now misses the game during the virus, it meant a lot to see the boys of summer -- George Kell, Satchel Paige, Jackie Robinson, et al.

The reason for the emphasis on baseball of the ‘50s and ‘60s is to showcase Munger’s favorite son, Jerry Lynch. A member of the Bay County Sports Hall of Fame’s inaugural class, Lynch

Jerry Lynch memorabilia

played for the Reds and Pirates from 1954 to 1966, helped the Reds win the 1961 National League pennant, and is considered one of the most important pinch hitters in the game’s history.

He’s featured prominently in the second collage at John’s, with other historical photos. Our charming and experienced hostess Kellie says Lynch grew up next door to John’s (though the house is no longer standing).

The green center card is Lynch’s 1954 rookie (a set which also features the rookie cards of Al Kaline and Hank Aaron). 1954 was a good year for John’s, for Lynch and for baseball. Joe DiMaggio married Marilyn Monroe in 1954.

1954 was a good year for America, too, on the three issues that focused the discussion among Harry, the G-man and me that afternoon: race relations, public health and the economy. In 1954:

• On improving race relations, the U.S. Supreme Court established that segregation in public schools is unconstitutional in the landmark Brown v. Board of Education ruling.
• In public health, the Salk polio vaccine field trials began, a key step toward ending the polio epidemic.
• On Wall Street, the Dow Jones Industrial Average recovered to its level before the 1929 crash.

So, to 1954, as I write this on our nation’s 244th birthday, thank you for the memory of hope. Thank you, John’s Bar, for your hospitality. And RIP Jerry Lynch (July 17, 1930 – March 31, 2012).

And for reasons that should be obvious, thank you, Marilyn Monroe.

Or, as Paul Simon once asked a lost and confused nation: “Where have you gone, Joe DiMaggio?”  

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See the hairy guy’s report on John’s Bar: Good burgers, no fries, a warm welcome and a piano for Christmas